It was said that, “the number one shortcoming of human beings at the close of the 20th Century is that we lead unexamined lives.”
So many have not carefully shaped their life view through personal and serious search for the truth. And I believe that this is becoming more and more difficult for many because of our very busy lives. We all are running relentlessly from task-to-task throughout the days, weeks, and months of our lives rarely taking the time to think…about what it all means, about where we’re going, and about what our purpose is in our life and work.
Yet if you ask (or just observe), people are yearning for a greater understanding of their lives; we want purpose; we believe that life is more than moving from activity to activity.
Many great people have spoken about self-examination over the years.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” It’s a hard-core statement but Socrates believed that the purpose of life was to endeavor toward personal and spiritual growth.
The bible even spoke about this in Lamentations where it states, “Let us examine our ways and test them.”
The truth is we can’t discover our greater purpose, passion, or life’s work without self-examination. We can’t grow toward greater understanding of our true nature unless we take time to examine and reflect upon our life. Life is to be discovered.
If you live a busy life, but intend to ”one day” slow down and live life more meaningful, think again. Take a look around you and you’ll see that things are only getting faster. But as Gandhi said and as you know, “There is more to life that increasing its speed.” So now is the time.
So how do we conduct self-examination? Well there are many ways, but here is a simple three-step process.
Step #1: Stop! Make a decision and find the time to be alone. You don’t have to sit at the top of a Tibetan mountainside with your legs “criss-cross applesauce” (as my girls use to say) in order to contemplate the meaning of life. Keep it simple and practical. Go find yourself a quiet place with pen and pad and start to ask very simple questions.
Step #2: Step Back! What I mean is that you have to get perspective…a different perspective, a new perspective. With pen and paper in hand, begin by asking yourself questions-and write them down. Remember you’re in self-discovery mode…think, talk to yourself, pray, meditate. The answers will come. You want to–yes–“contemplate” the meaning of life, your purpose, your passion, your interests, and skills, and etc. It may not come in one sitting, but as the bible says, “seek and ye shall find.” I can assure you, it will come to you in time.
Another note about perspective…conceptually, when I say step back, I also mean take the time to look ALL around. I recall a time last winter when my wife–a very early riser and an avid morning walker-woke me up whispering, “Kevin, I know it’s really early, but you must go outside and see how the snow has fallen” (which is rare in Nashville, Tennessee area). She continued, “it’s so beautiful and I want you to take a walk and enjoy the beauty before cars start moving and morning noise starts in.” Well slowly I moved, got dressed and went outside to take a walk. And she was right it was so beautiful. But a crazy thing happened to my view (internally and externally). I started down the right side of the road and looking to the right at the snow covered earth and houses. But all of the sudden I noticed all the telephone poles and wires…and it really distracted me. I became almost annoyed at how it all ruined the view. Well I got to the end of the cul-de-sac and as I turned around (now on the other side) I saw there were no poles or wires. First, I immediately scolded myself for only seeing the distractions on the other side, and then I felt foolish realizing “okay, so the poles and wires are on one side, but perhaps I was looking the wrong way.” If that all makes sense, I’m trying to say, when you are looking for something, beauty, passion, purpose, your dream, you may not see it at first, but look around.
Step #3: As I initially mentioned in Step 2, after you stop and step back, you have to ask questions, simple but profound questions. And you have to ask a lot of GOOD questions. I ask audiences at my speaking events, “back in the day of Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates, what did they actually do?” Well after a good discussion–and people suggesting a myriad of ideas such as, they contemplated life, searched for truth, and some would even say (jokingly), they sat around drinking wine and debating life–I would inform them, among the most important “things” that philosophers did was ask really good questions. Discovery always starts with a question, be that an actual question or mere curiosity. So in Step 3 I want to encourage you to ask questions, write them down, think about answers, and sometimes just let the questions linger in your mind, and let your mind (subconscious) work it out.
A few questions that you can ask about your purpose, passion, life works, or dream:
– What am I really passionate about?
– What charges or pumps me up?
– When or where do I seem to feel the best about myself?
– When Am I most happy?
– What achievements am I proud of?
– If money were not an issue, what would I most want to do with my life?
– What do I care most deeply about?
Of course there are many more. Just know that the idea at this point is to ask the questions and allow them to stew in your conscious and subconscious mind. Also review them everyday if possible. You have to trust that in doing so, in time the answers will come; because your conscious and subconscious mind will want to work this out. Think about this on a practical level. Have you ever been really curious about something? What did you do? Well, you were likely motivated to take action and investigate. That’s your conscious mind and body in action. Your subconscious mind is the same way, perhaps even more powerful. It has a very natural inclination to resolve unanswered questions. The key however, is to keep them fresh and among–or in front of–the many of dominate thoughts you have throughout your busy day and life. You can do this by reviewing them as often as possible.
Until next time…
Oahu Hawaii 2009
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